“I Simply Left”: Guy’s Wholesome Birthday Gift For Niece Makes Him An Unwelcome Guest

Aug 08, 2023

Just because someone’s a member of your family doesn’t mean that they’re always right or that you have to support them 100% of the time. It’s important to call them out when they’re in the wrong and treat you poorly. Because love—real love—means enforcing healthy boundaries even when things get incredibly uncomfortable, not rolling over when they yell at you.

Redditor u/legatoovercook turned to the r/entitledparents online community for a spot of advice after revealing that he’s now an unwelcome guest in his own brother’s home. Things came to a head at the OP’s niece’s 5th birthday party when she unwrapped his gift. Instead of giving her an iPad like his sister-in-law hinted at, he got his niece something else. Cue the temper tantrum from both the kid and her mom. Read on for the full story. Bored Panda got in touch with u/legatoovercook via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.

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Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: growgokids

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Image credits: legatoovercook

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Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

There are several main issues at play here. First of all, it’s unseemly to treat a guest (least of all a beloved family member) like they did something outrageously wrong just because they bought a different gift than was expected. You simply don’t yell at your relatives, either in private or in public.

Yes, things might get heated and nobody’s perfect, but everyone should strive to treat others like they themselves would like to be treated. It’s the foundation of politeness, kindness, and empathy. The situation shows that either the woman doesn’t respect her brother-in-law or there are far bigger issues at work here, and she’s dealing with those personal frustrations by lashing out at others. There’s also the chance that she’s simply incredibly entitled and can’t fathom anyone not listening to her demands… but it’s hard to make judgments from afar.

Secondly, the child’s mom shouldn’t have told her that her uncle would supposedly be getting her an iPad. When you raise someone’s expectations—especially when that ‘someone’ is a child who has a lot of emotional and mental growth to do—only to dash them, you might get frontline seats to a terrifying temper tantrum.

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Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)

And thirdly, the mom should never have dumped the demand for such an expensive gift on her brother-in-law. We’re not talking about a random toy here: iPads are gosh darn costly. Depending on the model, it can set you back quite a bit.

According to Apple, an iPad Pro currently costs anywhere from $799. An iPad Air is $599, a 10th generation iPad costs $449 while a 9th gen device will set you back $329. Meanwhile, an iPad Mini costs $499. Not everyone has that kind of money just sitting in their bank account, to be burned on someone’s birthday gift.

You simply can’t ask your guests to buy such expensive gifts and then get mad at them when they opt for a mud garden for kids. And if we’re honest, the mud garden sounds like a far healthier option than giving a kid a(nother) screen to stare at. If you’re bombarding your child with unlimited screen time from an early age, you may end up making them addicted to technology, the internet, video games, TV shows, and social media from a very early age, while their minds are still developing.

MedlinePlus stresses the fact that sitting in front of a screen is a sedentary activity which means that your child is inactive. This can lead to a lot of problems down the line, including weight gain, attention problems, poor sleep at night, anxiety, and even depression. Now, that’s not to say that kids should live completely without technology, but it’s vital that parents enforce healthy boundaries here.

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Image credits: Robo Wunderkind (not the actual photo)

Some of the things that parents can do here include setting a good example. Children emulate what others around them do. So if you’re always on your phone and on the computer, they’re going to do the same. Reduce the amount of time that you spend in front of screens to show a good example.

Something else to keep in mind is to prohibit eating meals and snacks in front of any screen. That way, your kids will have a healthier relationship with food. In the meantime, find alternatives to phones, iPads, consoles, and computers, like having a board game night, going to the playground, heading out for a walk in the park, etc. If you feel that things are really getting out of hand, set hard limits on screen time. You can also set up a challenge for the entire family where nobody will use any screens for a week.

As we’ve mentioned on Bored Panda before, parents have a huge responsibility to ensure that their children don’t grow up to be spoiled and entitled. While it’s perfectly fine to want to be in the spotlight on your birthday, it doesn’t give you the freedom to treat others poorly. Do that enough times and you might soon find that you’re running out of friends who are willing to tolerate you (and your parents).

A wonderful idea that parents can consider embracing is putting in the effort to create healthy and empathetic birthday traditions. For instance, after a celebratory breakfast and getting to pick out a gift or two, the family could then do some volunteer work or donate some old toys to kids in need. That way, you’re teaching your child about the importance of generosity and kindness even on their special day. It helps them understand that the world doesn’t stop turning for them.

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Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)

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Jonas is a Bored Panda writer who previously worked as a world news journalist elsewhere. After getting his bachelor's degree in Politics and International Relations at the University of Manchester, he returned home and graduated from Vilnius University with a master's degree in Comparative Politics. Jonas enjoys writing articles ranging from serious topics like politics and social issues to more lighthearted things like art, pop culture, and nature. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction.

Rasa is a photo editor at Bored Panda, they have a college degree in photography and are currently studying sewing. Ever since childhood Rasa was interested in visual arts, including painting, photography, knitting and so on. When not at work or studying they like to knitting, cooking and spending quality time with their cats.

While his brother does seem like a potential AH, this has the scent of abusive relationship all over it.

Sure does. I hope this guy keeps the lines of communication open with his brother.

He's grown a*s man and I bet he pays all the bills. He can leave

"Grown a*s men" can get abused, too, you know. Any human can get abused, whether they be a man or woman. And people who work and pay the bills can also be abused, too. Where do you get your nonsensical logic from.

Even my niece who is ten and fairly responsible lost her fake Apple Pencil in her bedroom somewhere. My godson loves drawing on my iPad, and he is 5, there’s no way I’d let him near it unsupervised! I don’t understand why someone would ask for such an expensive, fragile gift.

Mom wanted it herself.

That was my first thought. This is what it’s all about. “Sweetie, you’re only 5. Let Mommy have the iPad for now.”

That's so rude and gross. Just buy your own hecking iPad lady

We do not own any Apple devices, so I do not know how fragile they are, but my daughter has a Fire Kids tablet. It is ruggedized. She is also only 5 years old, yet handles it with care, unsupervised. I think it is all a matter about parenting/education. Children can learn.

There's always time for a first mistake.

My son is 2 and he does his ABC reading fundamentals etc. on his tablet but I will not buy him no IPad I am sorry that's too expensive. I wouldn't buy my daughter one when she was 14. Nor would I buy her an IPhone. I told her when she gets a job she can buy it herself. That's exactly what she did ay 14. Took on random jobs and was in school and taking college courses as well. She brought her IPhone and than her IPad. She took great care of her stuff and appreciated more. I'm not spending that much on no child.

Is that the one that's about $100? That's somewhat expensive for a 5 year old, but still pretty reasonable. I wouldn't buy the a five year old a Fire tablet as an uncle, but it certainly seems reasonable from their parents. The cheapest iPad i can find is $500 here. That seems too expensive for a 5 year old, even from parents.

Yes, that one. We got it in a sale for less. Including 1 year of kids+ and 2 years replacement warranty. No ads or similar things, but too many apps, ebooks and tv shows for a 5 year old. The parental control app could be better.

This. My 3yo and 5yo have tablets, one apple and one android. My oldest takes very good care of hers and my youngest has a hand me down. I won't buy her a new one and any that they use have a very rugged case. It's definitely about parenting, education, and willingness for the device to be used as a learning moment if they do indeed kill it. Which has happened with a free crappy tablet 2 years ago so that's probably why my oldest is so good with hers. The toddler decided to watch videos in the bath tub by throwing it in the tub full of water...

My daughter lost the real Apple Pencil she insisted on having for her iPad, which was kind of annoying, seeing as how they cost $99.

Oh damn that sucks. I take care of my pencil so well bc it's just so damn expensive

Dam. My nieces and nephews would have loved a mud kitchen when they were little.

Heck! I'd have wanted one as a kid!

Honestly I’m pretty sure my mom and aunt would buy a mud kitchen for themselves *right now* in their 70s!

I had to look up what it was and now I want one ( and I'm 41 lol).

I had a knock off one from the swapmeet and I loved that thing. Played with it for years until I got a Mrs. Fields oven to bake. Still love baking now.